Promises & Decisions – a little shout out for help

popular new year resolutions - colorful sticky notes on a cork board

I made a decision this morning.  It’s nothing mind blowing or life changing but a decision that needed to be made and that now having made it I feel lighter, energised and positive.

But, well I am playing it through in my head and I’m wondering if it’s one of the Sunday night/Monday Morning decisions – you know the ones:  This week i am going to be more organised; This week I am going to get through my to do list; This week I am going to eat healthily; This week i am going to get to the gym 4 times; This week, this week this week……

So what is it for me that stops me sticking to my promises to myself?  If I make a promise to someone else I do everything I can to meet their expectations, deliver my side of any promise and not let them down.  So why is it ok to let the promises I make myself slip.

Am I less valuable than that other person?  Is my time worth less, my opinion less important or more disposable?  Is it ok because I can promise it to myself again next week, month, year?

I know how I feel when I complete a project or task for someone. The completer finisher in me gets a high from a job well done and I can have pride (no matter how small or large) in knowing that I did that. I made this or that happen or be better, I helped this person or that achieve what they wanted or needed to .  Yay go me, pat myself on the back and on to the next thing.

Shouldn’t I also be able to do that to myself?

I was reading some old diaries at the weekend, promises I made to myself over the years.  8, 5 and 2 years ago – things I said would change and things I would do and achieve.  And some of it I have.  I can look back with some satisfaction of a job well done and look forward with the knowledge that there’s so much more.  Then there’s the rest – the things I haven’t quite achieved or are still waiting to be done.  Not things that impact others in any great way but things that I know would have an impact on me.  I must know this I made a promise to myself to do them (well several promises if I’m honest).

So I’m looking for insight and advice –

  • what helps you make those promises to yourself stick?
  • What and who encourages you to reach your goals?
  • How do you decide what’s important and how do you treat yourself with the same (respect and) importance as others?

I’d really like to hear your thoughts and get your input.  Thanks

5 thoughts on “Promises & Decisions – a little shout out for help

  1. I will watch people’s suggestions with great interest. I am very like you in so many ways – wouldn’t dream of letting anyone down professionally, or if I’ve committed to doing something for a friend (I never want to see a teddy bear ever again!) – but if it’s for me, somehow it slips down that ‘to do’ list. It seems daft that we’re putting ourselves so far down our own priorities.
    Maybe this week you can eat healthily and go to the gym for me, and I’ll do the same for you?!
    ** Goes off to plan healthy, interesting meals as can’t possibly have PCB just vicariously eating takeaways **
    xx

  2. I have learned that the endeavour is where the joy is, some goals are a lifetime’s work, others are made irrelevant as we and life changes. I started to feel fulfilment in my achievements when I removed any timescales “by the time I am forty I will have ….”. No.

    I am a bit more rooted in the day to day in terms of how I value my achievements; what have I done with the resources I have available to me.

    I trust that I have enough wisdom to concentrate on what’s really needed – I have learned this. I pay less attention to what others may expect of me, because I know that I am the person best equipped to know what I can do.

    I know I have more to give others, if I take time for me.

    It’s work in progress.
    All of it.

    • ‘Fulfilment in my achievements’ resonates with me. I think I still have the by the time I am 50 in my head with most things. I think I probably measure myself against others and their achievements quite regularly too. Reflecting is interesting. I am not a jealous person and enjoy success in others. I think there is probably an element of self sabotage – of not being enough so allowing myself to let things slide. Certainly a work in progress….

  3. Very wise words from Meg there.

    I would add to that the importance of appreciating the small successes we have rather than berating ourselves for not having met our own expectations.

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